Rotten Tuesday

Do you ever have days that you feel like the most rotten version of yourself? Today is a day like that for me. I feel like getting even one child ready for school in the morning has become a painful and frustrating experience.
Trying to get Finnley to brush her hair, which is getting very long and is incredibly thick is a chore. Getting Iain to eat his breakfast without feeding Pixie, or teasing Pixie with his food so she jumps up on him is a chore. Getting a cup of coffee or even finding the time to brush my teeth before having to run out the door is a chore.
Beds made, dishes put away, a load of laundry started, Iain pulled his curtain rod out of the wall, after filling the toilet with an amazing amount of toilet paper, all feeling overly stressful today. Temper flairs and voices too loud, all make me feel like a rotten parent.
 Sometimes it is hard to remember that these things happen to teach me to be a better mom. Remembering that never in my life will the two new little holes in Iain's bedroom wall matter other than right now. Cleaning out toilet paper again, not so memorable as the 1st time I had to do it. Remembering that angry tones and words spoken in haste and harshness will always be remembered, maybe not by my children but by me.
Remembering that the mothering choices I have made are valuable and valid simply because I'm the mom and I've made them. Not having to over explain why I'd rather Finnley didn't get candy for a reward at school or if she does she cannot eat it at school is a parenting decision I have made and am determined to stick to. Why my children do not watch television or movies during the school week is another important decision we have made. Sometimes I feel like these simple decisions get questioned so much I'm almost ready to give it all up, but maybe I'm just too stubborn for that.

 A couple of the cardigans I am working on, the blue one getting close to being complete, and the grey one my first ever worked from the bottom up.

 Flowers for May Day, African Violets.

 By far the most favorite book in our house, Little Bear.

This is the picture for right now, he is a wonderful boy and he gives so much love and comfort, he is my opportunity to be a better mom. All in all a rotten, frustrating, beginning to a lovely May day, grateful for room to grow, learn and improve hoping you all have a better one than I have had.